Originally posted at Blabb it@nyblogs.net

Senator Orrin Hatch is the latest U.S. Senator to alert the nation that he has no clue what he is doing in Washington anymore, is out of touch with the real world and has a basic disdain for a certain demographic of people in the U.S. The unemployed.

A lot of people are saying…

Recently, the Huffington Post reported Sen Hatch’s proposal to drug test everyone receiving unemployment benefits and other kinds of government assistance saying with the vagueness of a teenager trying to make a case for staying out late on a Saturday night:

“A lot of people are saying, ‘Hey, it’s about time. Why do we keep giving money to people who are going to go use it on drugs instead of their families?’”

Who is  “a lot of people”? How many? Where did you talk to these people?  If “a lot of people” jumped off of a bridge would you follow them?

He continued with:

“Now, it doesn’t do away with food stamps. And it does get the help for them that they really need. And if they get the help, then they’re right back on to the cash,”

Good old fashioned Paranoia and Propaganda

The notion that otherwise normal working Americans, who have hit hard times  have all of a sudden decided to take their meager Gov stipend of a couple of  hundred dollars a week and sit on the couch smoking rock and slamming scag, instead of trying to keep the electricity on and avoid foreclosure,  is not only insulting but ridiculously stupid.

I’d like to see him take that argument on the road to cities like Modesto, CA which has an unemployment rate of 19.5%, or Youngstown, OH  12.3%, and get out of there with his Depends in one piece and not shoved down his throat. Source.

Civic, Community and Rights groups have called the proposal everything from racist, to a horrendous waste of time and money

In the first place, drug addicts don’t have or can’t keep jobs, therefore, they wouldn’t be receiving unemployment benefits. Sure, there are probably a few exceptions, but are we really going to pay for testing EVERYONE at a cost of hundreds of millions, to save a few hundred thousand?

I am sure that many people can come up with a story that they heard from a friend, or you may even be able to prove a real instance of this with personal knowledge. But when you get down to the nitty gritty , you find that any grassroots support behind  ridiculous proposals like this stems from statements that begin with “I heard” ,  “a buddy of mine” or “what about that guy..?”…in other words good old fashioned American paranoia and propaganda.…which is pretty much the foundation of our modern day society.

Inevitably what we end up proposing  is that we spend hundreds of millions to test every one because some mysterious people, heard about some unidentifiable guy, somewhere close by?

However, since the “grassroots” people are the ones that are unemployed, it may be hard for Hatch to get anyone to take him seriously outside of his own fully staffed, well furnished office.

Puff…Puff…Pass

Are there people receiving Unemployment benefits that take drugs?  I am sure that there are.  But there are also Congressman and Senators in Washington that are alcoholics,  aides and assistants that are hooked on prescription meds, and Government employees who smoke pot.

It’s not ALL of them. It’s not even a majority. It’s the same subsection of society that you will find across any industry or demographic. Just because people are out of work  doesn’t mean that now the crack man is their best friend.  I mean seriously who comes up with this shit?

George Bush is out of work. Does that mean that he and Laura are chillaxing back in Crawford smoking Purple Kush out of an original Tommy Chong water pipe?  I mean get real.

I propose that if we are to drug test people merely because they have their hand in the Government cookie jar, then we test EVERYONE.

• Defense Contractors
• Congressman and Senators and everyone in their offices that is paid by tax dollars
• Everyone with a Government service contract
• Government Suppliers.
• Doctors who bill Medicare and Medicaid.
• Research and other Grant Recipients
• College administrations who receive Government funds
• Student Loan Recipients
• and everyone in every company, organization , or administration that  has received any Government Bailout or Stimulus Funds.

If you want to cut cost using drug testing as a determiner for distribution of monetary funds, why pick on the unemployed ? Why does everyone else who receives Government money or does business with the U.S. Government  get a pass?  If you are going to do it, then actually do it across the board and don’t single people out like some arrogant, racist, backwoods  evangelist who time traveled to the future from the 1950′s

You can read the rest of this article at:

http://blabbit.nyblogs.net/2010/06/23/is-it-possible-that-sen-orrin-hatch-the-biggest-idiot-in-washington/

I’m no web God, or Social Media expert like most of the population of  Twitter users seem to be..and while we are on that…doesn’t it seem strange, almost cult like, how everyone on Twitter is a “Social Media Expert” who “Leverages the power of Networking Platforms to empower businesses and brands to secure new markets and demographics”, yet when you go to their blog,  it looks like no one is home.

It’s like some kind of weird online bastardization of the Stepford Wives where everyone is programmed to do the exact same thing, the exact same way.

One day  I’d like to see a count on how many times the words “Social Media Expert”,  “Leverage” and “Empower” are used on bio’s across the Twittersphere…it has to be staggering. It’s the new “Day Trading”.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think Twitter and Facebook are the Bee’s Knees (see 1920’s American slang) and I’d probably sacrifice your pinky finger to get a piece of them in my pocket, but when you have a large cross section of society in one place, there are going to be a few knobs that stand out that either make it frustrating for everyone to enjoy, or hilarious at the lack of social skills and common sense of the people that walk among us.

I am annoyed by all kinds of people in the “real world” but the ones on Facebook that really stand are:

People who post or send you their game scores.

Who ever thought that is would be a cool feature, was dead wrong.

I have nothing against the fact that 8 bit games from the 1980’s excite you more now than they did then, but the rest of us really don’t give a crap what level you are on.  Even when I was a kid, I didn’t call all of my friends every time I got a Pacman key, or  the high score in Defender   (and that was a hell of a lot harder than how long you can sit there and click a mouse) . So now as an adult, do you really think I care about your mindless time waste?

If you want to impress me, finish Hitman 2 or Splinter Cell .

Why not just post an update that say’s, “It’s the middle of a weekday and I have nothing better to do”, or “This is how I spend my Saturday nights”. At least that’s entertaining.

People who use their kids photos as their profile photo

This shouldn’t even be allowed. How incredibly short sighted, and selfish of you to volunteer your kids image to be the face of your profile. How would you feel if your parents used your photo on their profile..never mind the fact that you are 35 years old…or if your grandparents used your image on the AARP forums instead of their own?

Yes, we know that you are proud of your kids and that they are your life. But as one who has a couple of Facebook Pages, many geared for adults, do you know how strange it is to look at your fan group and see a photo of an 8 year old little girl..who by all rights shouldn’t even have a Facebook page?

With all of the ways your Facebook profile photo can be shown on the internet (ie: logging on outside websites with your Facebook credentials, or search engine results), why would you syndicate your child’s photo around the web in your name?

This is just another example of how kids are subject to the dangerous stupidity of their parents. For years people have protected their kids, hidden information about them, registered and finger printed them, put GPS on them and taught them the dangers of strangers and predators. All of a sudden Facebook comes along and all of that is out of the window and we are now posting our kids photos (and names) all over the internet, what school they go to, scout troop they belong to and all of their activities (with photo documentation) for all the world to see.

As parents, you monitor their online activities, and have parental controls  to make sure that they are not giving information out on their own, but it’s O.K. if you post up their information on your public profile.

What if kids posted pictures of you and your activities on their kids forums and chat rooms or just took them to school for ’show and tell’?  You would probably loose your mind.

The “sexy” photo people

First of all…the people that try the hardest at the sexy photo and usually the ones that look the most ridiculous. Second, this is only acceptable if you are a model, aspiring model (and you actually have some talent) or actually work in the entertainment industry.  I never thought of Facebook as a pick up or dating site, so seeing regular people do the sexy pose on a public forum seems about as out of place as Zebra walking through a casino wearing a top hat.

Even funnier, are the “out at the club” photos that women love to post in their profile. Within this group of photos, there is inevitably  going to be the Booty Shot picture… You know…the club photo where women turn their backs to the camera, looking back over their shoulder, arch their back, and stick out their derriere?  Those photos always remind me of a clip I once saw as a kid on Mutual of Omaha’s ‘Wild Kingdom’ of the female Mandrill in heat .. make up and all.

The “Follow every stupid catch phrase” people

Not a day goes by that I don’t get one of these Facebook messages: “Your dumb ass friend just joined the page ‘Bro’s before Ho’s’ and thinks that you should join too”. So in the beginning I’d venture over to the page in question thinking maybe someone started a page about friendship or dating or something that warrants the name, only to get there and find that there’s nothing there. Some idiot just named a page with a stupid catch phrase or 5th grade grasp of the obvious and nothing else, and all of these other idiots are giving it the thumbs up as if the person discovered the formula for cold fusion or something or something that no one has ever heard before.

The most annoying part is…these are some of the most popular pages on Facebook. The non-pages with nothing on them.  If aliens from another world visited our planet and observed such mindless cult followings,  they would think that we are a planet of idiots. A  million people will follow “Don’t you hate when you loose a sock in the dryer”-yet the average Congressman or Senator can only muster a few thousand constituents…mostly because most people have no idea who their Congressman or Senator is..but they’ll sure join a page bitching about them.

The ‘posing with my car’ people (dudes)

This one is really sad, because it’s  mostly men, and it’s never anything like a cool brand new Maserati, it’s always some dude who scraped up enough cash to buy a used Corvette or an ‘86 Porsche fixer upper. It was a looser move  on My Space and years later, it’s still looser move on Facebook. Men that pose with their cars are basically saying:

• This is my greatest accomplishment
• I still live with my mom, or else I would have posed in my home.
• I’m fishing and this is my bait
• I can barely afford the payments, so, riding in this car is the date.

Women do it too, but most times women will pose on the car of an old boyfriend, or some guy they know with a cool car. This is actually even more pathetic because they are proudly showing off a car that they don’t own, but think being around it is some kind of status symbol.  Honey let me be the one to tell you..it’s really not. Back in the day we used to call that “Jockin’”….short for “hanging off of peoples jock strap”: Using the accomplishment of others to make yourself look important.

Guys, if you are dating a women and she’s still showing off photos of her old boyfriend’s car, you can pretty much see where your  relationship is going.

The exceptions to the rule are people that work with cars, in the auto industry or belong to car clubs.

It’s actually cool when it’s people that do stuff with cars like racing, and daredevil stuff.  However, if you aren’t that guy, posing in your BMW jacket just looks obvious and desperate to impress.

The ‘my privacy’ people

When was the last time that someone offered you something for free, that wasn’t an exchange to market or advertise to you?  Most people wouldn’t post their  name and photo on a supermarket bill board, and they freak out when they loose their drivers license…but have no problem posting the same information and more online, along with up to the minute updates,  for millions to see.

If you want privacy online stop putting personal, private information on free, public websites. DUH! And for Pete’s sake people, don’t use one email address for everything, including personal and business communications. Get a clue.

The ‘no photo’ people

It’s called FACEbook for a reason. It you don’t want to connect, or want anyone to recognize you, why bother?

The ‘couples photo’ people

C’mon. How old are you?  I expect this type of nauseating display from adolescents who are new to actually touching the opposite sex, but not from grown people.  What’s next, a couples drivers license photo?

This is in the same category of people who can’t have a normal conversation without constantly referring to their boyfriend, girl friend, or fiance’. It’s the equivalent of wearing their face on a T-shirt.

When little kids hold hands it’s cute.

When older people dress alike on vacation, it’s heart warming.

When grown assed people in their 20’s-50’s can’t even have a Facebook profile where they are not joined at the hip, it’s disturbing.

In conclusion, what you do online is becoming part of  your offline life. It’s not unheard of for prospective clients or employers to check out your online presence and FaceBook is a readily available look into your personality.

Facebook can be a lot of fun. It’s great for catching up with old friends, business networking and so many other things including it can be an incredible time suck.  But we need to start thinking more about the overall picture and not just live in the moment and post an update every time we take a poop.

The web is public and accessible to just about everyone in the world.

It’s important to remember that it is not your own private Idaho.

* Originally posted on Blabb It New York

“COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of David Hasselhoff” Premieres On Sunday, August 15 At 10:00 P.M. ET/PT

NEW YORK, — International superstar and television icon David Hasselhoff has been announced as COMEDY CENTRAL’s next Roastee. The show is scheduled to tape this summer in Los Angeles. “The COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of David Hasselhoff” will air on Sunday, August 15 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT.

“I’m honored that COMEDY CENTRAL is going to get ‘Hoff’ on me,” said David Hasselhoff. “I have always been a major fan of Roasts, dating back to the days of the ‘Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.’ Laughter is the best medicine. Bring it on! I’m ready to take the heat.”

“David Hasselhoff is a worldwide celebrity who has and continues to entertain audiences around the globe,” said Elizabeth Porter, senior vice president, specials and talent for COMEDY CENTRAL. “By the end of this year’s Roast, this pop culture icon will surely see that no slow motion run or life preserver can save him.”

The “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of David Hasselhoff” will be executive produced by Joel Gallen from Tenth Planet Productions, who was also executive producer and director of the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of Joan Rivers,” “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of Larry The Cable Guy,” “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of Bob Saget,” “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of Flavor-Flav,” the Emmy-nominated “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of William Shatner” and the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roast Of Pamela Anderson.” Larry Thompson will also serve as executive producer and previously held this title on the “COMEDY CENTRAL Roasts” of Joan Rivers and William Shatner. Elizabeth Porter is the executive in charge for the network.

COMEDY CENTRAL, the only all-comedy network, currently is seen in more than 98 million homes nationwide. COMEDY CENTRAL is owned by, and is a registered trademark of, Comedy Partners, a wholly-owned division of VIACOM Inc.’s (NYSE: VIA and VIA.B) MTV Networks. COMEDY CENTRAL’s Internet address is www.comedycentral.com.

MTV Networks, a division of Viacom (NYSE: VIA, VIA.B), is one of the world’s leading creators of entertainment content, with brands that engage and connect diverse audiences across television, online, mobile, games, virtual worlds and consumer products. The company’s portfolio spans more than 150 television channels and 400 digital media properties worldwide, and includes MTV, VH1, CMT, Logo, Harmonix, Nickelodeon, Nick at Nite, Nick Jr., TeenNick, AddictingGames, Neopets, COMEDY CENTRAL, SPIKE, TV Land, Atom, GameTrailers and Xfire.

Said Ben Stiller: “Les Grossman’s life story is an inspiring tale of the classic human struggle to achieve greatness against all odds. He has assured me he plans to quote, ‘F**king  kill the sh*t out of this movie and make Citizen f**king Kane look like a piece of crap home movie by the time we are done.’ I am honored to be working with him.”
When asked what the screenplay was about Grossman responded: “To quote my great friend Kirk Lazarus, ‘I don’t read the script, the script reads me.’”
Adam Goodman, Paramount Film Group President said, “Everything I learned in this business, I’ve learned from Les. I started out as his assistant, and from the first day he threw his desk at me when I got his lunch order wrong, I have loved him like a father.  I am forever grateful to Ben and Stuart Cornfeld and their ability to secure his highly-coveted life rights,”

Tom Cruise is said to be in talks to portray Grossman in the film.  Michael Bacall (“Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”) will write the script. He is repped by WME.  WME also reps Ben Stiller and Red Hour Films.

Visit the site for more

“THE CHAPERONE” is a kids action comedy about a just released, ex-con dad who unwittingly becomes a chaperone for his teen daughter’s class trip to New Orleans, while he is on the run from his old cronies who are trying to kill him.

Alan Shafer of Careyes Entertainment and attorney Michael Overn represented Roth in the sale.  Steve Barnett, Senior Vice President, Development of WWE Studios handled the deal for studio.  Shoot is tentatively scheduled for Summer 2010, in New Orleans.

“FOX has been the No. 1 network for six consecutive seasons not only because our programs are hits, but also because they’re the most engaging shows on television,” said Rice. “We’re very excited to add a full slate of creative, original new series next season that will help us continue to capture imaginations and draw people back to FOX week after week.”

“Last season, we did what FOX does best: we took some risks that paid off. Now we’re going to up the ante with an even more diverse and creative roster of programs for next year,” said Reilly. “With three daring new dramas, a fresh new animated series and three new live-action comedies, we’re positioned to rebuild the FOX comedy brand, introduce the next generation of unique characters and deliver an even more compelling experience for our viewers next season.”

GLEE, the No. 1 new series of this season among Adults 18-49 and key demos, returns for its sophomore season to anchor a new Tuesday comedy block. Premiering this fall is RAISING HOPE, the new family comedy from Emmy Award winner Greg Garcia (“My Name Is Earl”), starring Lucas Neff (“The Beast”), Martha Plimpton (“How To Make It In America”), Garret Dillahunt (“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”) and Academy and Emmy Award winner Cloris Leachman (“Malcolm In The Middle”). The sweet, offbeat comedy follows Jimmy Chance (Neff), a well-meaning screw-up trying his best to raise his infant daughter with the help of the eccentric family who did a less-than-stellar job of raising him.

Also debuting this fall is RUNNING WILDE, the new romantic comedy from “Arrested Development’s” Jim Vallely, Mitch Hurwitz and Will Arnett. Starring Arnett (“30 Rock”) and Keri Russell (“Waitress,” “Felicity”), the comedy centers on a lovable, but immature playboy (Arnett) trying desperately to win (or buy) the heart of his childhood sweetheart (Russell), the uber-liberal humanitarian who got away.

LONESTAR, a sophisticated and provocative drama set against the sprawling backdrop of big Texas oil, will premiere this fall. From Chris Keyser and Amy Lippman (“Party of Five”), writer Kyle Killen and directed by Marc Webb (“(500) Days of Summer”), the compelling series stars newcomer James Wolk as a charismatic and brilliant schemer who has entangled himself in a deep, complex web from which he can’t break free. He’s caught between two very different lives and two very different women.

TERRA NOVA, an epic family adventure 85 million years in the making, is the new event drama slated for midseason from executive producers Steven Spielberg (“Jurassic Park,” “The Pacific”), Peter Chernin, Brannon Braga (24, “Star Trek: Enterprise”) and David Fury (24, “Lost”). The action-adventure series follows an ordinary family on an extraordinary journey back in time to prehistoric Earth as a part of a massive expedition to save the human race.

Joining the Sunday ANIMATION DOMINATION lineup in midseason is BOB’S BURGERS, a new animated comedy series from creator Loren Bouchard (“Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist”) about a man, his family and their floundering burger joint. Despite the greasy counters, lousy location and occasionally spotty service, Bob and his lovable and quirky family are convinced their burgers are their ticket to success.

The new drama scheduled for a midseason debut is RIDE-ALONG. From creator Shawn Ryan (“The Shield,” “The Unit”), the fast-paced series, shot on location in Chicago and starring Jason Clarke (“Public Enemies”), Jennifer Beals (LIE TO ME) and Delroy Lindo (“Kidnapped”), will take audiences on an unflinching and unpredictable ride through the streets of Chicago to navigate crime and corruption with the most respected – and notorious – cops in the city.

MIXED SIGNALS, scheduled for a spring premiere, is a new relationship comedy created by Bob Fisher (“Wedding Crashers”) about three longtime friends and their attempts to balance their committed relationships with their desire for freedom. The ensemble comedy stars Nelson Franklin (“I Love You, Man”), David Denman (“The Office”), Kris Marshall (HUMAN TARGET), Liza Lapira (“Dexter”) and Alexandra Breckenridge (FAMILY GUY) and reveals how friendships and romances enhance – and further complicate – the lives of men and the women who love them.

It was also announced that a very special GLEE will air following SUPER BOWL XLV on Sunday, February 6. GLEE, the most award-winning series of the year, will then make its spring premiere Wednesdays following AMERICAN IDOL.

Other FOX series returning in 2010-2011 include: AMERICAN DAD (Season 6), AMERICAN IDOL (Season 10) AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (Season 24), BONES (Season 6), THE CLEVELAND SHOW (Season 2), COPS (Season 23), FAMILY GUY (Season 8), FRINGE (Season 3), THE GOOD GUYS (Season 1), HELL’S KITCHEN (Seasons 7 and 8), HOUSE (Season 7), HUMAN TARGET (Season 2), KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (Season 3), LIE TO ME (Season 3), THE SIMPSONS (Season 22) and SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (Season 7). Specials returning to the FOX schedule include NEW YEAR’S EVE LIVE and TEEN CHOICE 2010.

Following are the FOX 2010-2011 primetime schedule and synopses of the new series:

FOX FALL 2010 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE

(All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM LONESTAR (new)

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM GLEE
9:00-9:30 PM RAISING HOPE (new)
9:30-10:00 PM RUNNING WILDE (new)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM LIE TO ME
9:00-10:00 PM HELL’S KITCHEN

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HUMAN TARGET
9:00-10:00 PM THE GOOD GUYS

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM THE CLEVELAND SHOW
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

FOX MIDSEASON 2011 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE (All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM LONESTAR (new) / RIDE-ALONG (new)

TUESDAY
8:00-9:30 PM AMERICAN IDOL Performance Show
9:30-10:00 PM RUNNING WILDE (new) / MIXED SIGNALS (new; spring)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM RAISING HOPE (new)
8:30-9:00 PM AMERICAN IDOL Results Show
9:00-10:00 PM GLEE

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HUMAN TARGET
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM THE SIMPSONS (encores)
7:30-8:00 PM AMERICAN DAD
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM BOB’S BURGERS (new)
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM THE CLEVELAND SHOW

FOX 2010-2011 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE

NEW SERIES SYNOPSES

The following new comedies will premiere this fall on FOX:

RAISING HOPE

RAISING HOPE is a new single-camera family comedy from Emmy Award winner Greg Garcia (“My Name Is Earl”) that follows the Chance family as they find themselves adding an unexpected new member into their already terribly flawed household. At 23 years old, JIMMY CHANCE (Lucas Neff, “The Beast”) is going nowhere in life. He skims pools for a living, parties every night and still lives at home with his family, including his MAW MAW (guest star Academy Award and Emmy Award winner Cloris Leachman); his mother, VIRGINIA (Martha Plimpton, “How to Make It in America”); his father, BURT (Garret Dillahunt, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” “Damages”); and his cousin, MIKE (Skyler Stone, “The Mentalist,” “Dollhouse”). Jimmy’s life takes a drastic turn when a chance romantic encounter with LUCY (guest star Bijou Phillips, “Choke,” “Almost Famous”) goes awry once he discovers she is a wanted felon. Months later, when Jimmy pays a visit to the local prison, he discovers Lucy gave birth to their baby, who he is now charged with raising. At home with his new daughter, Jimmy’s family is less than enthusiastic about a new addition to the household. His parents, who had him when they were 15, never knew anything about raising a child and have no interest in trying again. If Jimmy can work up the nerve to ask her out on a date, he might get some help from SABRINA (Shannon Woodward, “The Riches,” “ER”), a sardonic checkout clerk he met at the supermarket. Cousin Mike is only concerned about how the baby is going to affect their social life, and out-of-touch Maw Maw is no help either. But Jimmy is determined to take care of his baby – whom Virginia thinks they should name HOPE. With very few useful skills but their hearts in the right place, will the Chance family be successful when they step into the unpredictable and immensely challenging world of parenting?

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: Amigos de Garcia Productions, 20th Century Fox Television

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER/WRITER: Greg Garcia

DIRECTOR: Michael Fresco

CAST: Garret Dillahunt as Burt, Lucas Neff as Jimmy, Martha Plimpton as Virginia, Skyler Stone as Mike, Shannon Woodward as Sabrina

GUEST CAST: Cloris Leachman as Maw Maw, Bijou Phillips as Lucy

RUNNING WILDE

From the Emmy Award-winning creator and the star of the critically acclaimed FOX series “Arrested Development” comes RUNNING WILDE, a romantic comedy starring Will Arnett (“Arrested Development,” “30 Rock”) as STEVE WILDE, a filthy-rich, immature playboy trying desperately to win (or buy) the heart of his childhood sweetheart, EMMY KADUBIC (Keri Russell, “Waitress,” “Felicity”), the uber-liberal humanitarian who got away – all told through the perspective of a 12-year-old girl. Steve Wilde has never performed a selfless act. But why should he – he’s rich! The son of an oil tycoon, Steve hasn’t had to work a day in his life and has always gotten everything he’s wanted – with one exception: the love of Emmy. The daughter of a former Wilde housekeeper, Emmy is an earnest do-gooder who has spent her adult life trying to save the world. And though Emmy is content living with an indigenous tribe in the Amazon rainforest, her 12-year-old daughter, PUDDLE (Stefania Owen, “The Lovely Bones”), just wants to be a normal kid experiencing her adolescence in a normal place. And she would speak up except for the fact that she hasn’t spoken in years. When Wilde Oil’s expansion in the rainforest threatens her adopted tribe, Emmy decides to attend Steve’s self-thrown “Humanitarian of the Year” award ceremony in hopes of convincing him to help her cause…and also maybe because she still has a thing for Steve. But same-old Steve is unwilling to help because fighting Wilde Oil (a/k/a Dad) means putting his meal ticket in jeopardy. Rather than run the risk of letting Emmy slip away again, Steve pulls out all the stops to win her heart. To do so, he enlists the only other people in his life who can help: MIGO SALAZAR (Joe Nunez, “Superbad,” “Prison Break”), Steve’s employee/sidekick/errand-boy, and GERTIE STELLVERTRETTER (Jayne Houdyshell, “Law & Order”), Steve’s nanny-turned-head-of-security as well as the biggest protector of Steve…and her own job. Despite having everything he ever wanted, Steve knows he can’t buy love and happiness, which falls in sharp contrast to Emmy, who has nothing but love and happiness. So with Emmy committed to doing good for nothing, and Steve being a good for nothing, will this hopelessly mismatched pair ever be able to reconcile their differences?

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: Tantamount Studios, Five Hole Pictures, Principato-Young Management, Lionsgate Television

CREATORS/WRITERS: Mitch Hurwitz, Jim Vallely, Will Arnett

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Mitch Hurwitz, Jim Vallely, Will Arnett, Eric Tannenbaum, Kim Tannenbaum, Peter Principato, Paul Young, Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

DIRECTORS: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

CAST: Will Arnett as Steve Wilde, Keri Russell as Emmy Kadubic, Stefania Owen as Puddle Kadubic, Joe Nunez as Migo Salazar, Jayne Houdyshell as Gertie Stellvertretter

The following new drama will debut this fall on FOX:

LONESTAR

From Chris Keyser and Amy Lippman, the creators of “Party of Five”; Marc Webb, the director of “(500) Days of Summer”; and creator Kyle Killen, comes LONESTAR, a provocative soap set against the backdrop of big Texas oil. ROBERT/BOB ALLEN (newcomer James Wolk) is a charismatic and brilliant schemer who has meticulously constructed two lives in two different parts of Texas. He’s juggling two identities and two women in two very different worlds – all under one mountain of lies. As “Bob,” he lives in Houston and is married to CAT (Adrianne Palicki, “Friday Night Lights”), the beautiful daughter of CLINT (Jon Voight, 24, “Midnight Cowboy”), the patriarch of an ultra-wealthy Texas oil family. More than 400 miles away in the suburban west Texas town of Midland, he’s “Robert,” living a second life with his sweet, naive girlfriend, LINDSAY (Eloise Mumford, “Mercy,” “Law & Order: SVU”). In Midland, he plays the perfect boyfriend while secretly bilking local investors of their savings. In Houston, he’s a devoted husband, charming Cat and her family to cement his position in the rich family business he aims to clean out. Bob has lived both lives successfully for years without arousing any suspicions…so far. While one brother-in-law, DREW (Bryce Johnson, “Popular,” “The Mentalist”), admires Bob, his other brother-in-law, TRAMMELL (Mark Deklin, “Nip/Tuck,” “Desperate Housewives”), is suspicious of his motives. Bob begins to fear his secret lives may unravel. With the cons closing in on him, Bob is divided by his love for two women; his loyalty to his father and mentor, JOHN (David Keith, “An Officer and a Gentleman,” “The Class”); and his respect for his father-in-law, Clint. Now as he tries to hold his two lives together, while fending off angry investors and the suspicions of those around him, Bob puts it all on the line hoping he can beat the odds, leave the schemes behind and keep two separate relationships afloat.

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Depth of Field Productions, Keyser/Lippman Productions

CREATOR/WRITER: Kyle Killen

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Kyle Killen, Kerry Kohansky, Paul Weitz, Chris Keyser, Amy Lippman

DIRECTOR: Marc Webb

CAST: James Wolk as Robert/Bob Allen, Eloise Mumford as Lindsay, David Keith as John Allen, Adrianne Palicki as Cat Thatcher, Mark Deklin as Trammell Thatcher, Bryce Johnson as Drew Thatcher, Jon Voight as Clint Thatcher

The new animated comedy joining the FOX schedule in mideason is:

BOB’S BURGERS

BOB’S BURGERS is a new animated series about a man, his family and a burger joint. A third-generation restaurateur, BOB BELCHER (H. Jon Benjamin, FAMILY GUY, “Archer”) runs Bob’s Burgers with the help of his wife and their three kids. Bob has big ideas about burgers, condiments and sides, but only a few thoughts on customer service and business management. Despite his greasy counters, lousy location and occasionally spotty service, Bob is convinced his burgers speak for themselves. Even though business is slow, Bob gets to work with his family. His wife, LINDA BELCHER (John Roberts, “The Christmas Tree,” “Jackie & Debra”), supports Bob’s dream through thick and thin (but truth be told, she’s getting a little sick of the thin). Their eldest daughter, TINA (Dan Mintz, “Important Things with Demetri Martin,” “The Andy Milonakis Show”), is a 13-year-old hopeless romantic with minimal social skills. Middle child GENE (Eugene Mirman, “Flight of the Conchords,” “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”) is an aspiring musician and a prankster who serves up more jokes than burgers. Their youngest, LOUISE (Kristen Schaal, “Flight of the Conchords,” “Modern Family”), is the most enthusiastic about her dad’s business, but an off-balance sense of humor and her elevated energy level make her somewhat of a liability in the kitchen. Beyond the restaurant is a city rich with character. Next door to Bob’s is It’s Your Funeral Home and Crematorium; down the street is Wonder Wharf, the oceanside amusement pier; and a few blocks away is Wagstaff Middle School, where Bob and Linda’s kids go to school. And across the street is Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria, Bob’s Burgers’ main competition and the thorn in Bob’s side.

PRODUCTION COMPANY: 20th Century Fox Television

CREATOR: Loren Bouchard

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS/WRITERS: Loren Bouchard, Jim Dauterive

DIRECTOR: Anthony Chun

VOICE CAST: H. Jon Benjamin as Bob Belcher, John Roberts as Linda Belcher, Kristen Schaal as Louise Belcher, Eugene Mirman as Gene Belcher, Dan Mintz as Tina Belcher

The two new dramas slated for midseason debuts are:

TERRA NOVA

From executive producers Steven Spielberg, Peter Chernin, Brannon Braga (24, “Star Trek: Enterprise”) and David Fury (“Lost,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) comes an epic family adventure 85 million years in the making. TERRA NOVA follows an ordinary family embarking on an incredible journey back in time to prehistoric Earth as a small part of a massive experiment to save the human race. In the year 2149 the world is dying. The planet is overdeveloped, overcrowded and overpolluted. With the majority of plant and animal life extinct, devotion to science has brought mankind to the brink of destruction, but has also provided its only hope for salvation. Knowing there is no way to reverse the damage to the planet, a coalition of scientists has managed to open up a fracture in the space-time continuum, creating a portal to prehistoric Earth. This doorway leads to an amazing world, one that allows for a last-ditch effort to save the human race…possibly changing the future by correcting the mistakes of the past. The series centers on the Shannon family as they join the tenth pilgrimage of settlers to TERRA NOVA, the first colony of humans in this second chance for civilization. JIM SHANNON, a devoted father with a checkered past, guides his family through this new land of limitless beauty, mystery and terror. Jim’s wife, ELISABETH SHANNON, is a trauma surgeon chosen through a global lottery as a new addition to Terra Nova’s medical team. JOSH SHANNON is their son, mourning the girl he left behind, as he’s torn between two role models – his father and the charismatic COMMANDER FRANK TAYLOR, the leader of the settlement, and the heroic first pioneer through the time portal. MADDY SHANNON, Jim and Elizabeth’s teen daughter, is as independent and adventurous as her parents, but her distrust of authority soon leads her on a dangerous path. In addition to blue skies, rolling rivers and lush vegetation, TERRA NOVA offers new opportunities and fresh beginnings to its recent arrivals, but the Shannons have brought with them a familial secret that may threaten their citizenship in this utopia. Additionally these adventurers soon discover that this healthy, cptfc vibrant world is not as idyllic as it initially appears. The areas surrounding Terra Nova are filled with dangerous dinosaurs, and other prehistoric threats, as well as external forces that may be intent on destroying this new world before it begins. But perhaps even more threatening than what lies outside the protective walls is the Shannons’ realization that something sinister may be happening inside TERRA NOVA as not everyone on this mission has the same intentions of how best to save mankind.

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, DreamWorks Television, Kapital Entertainment, Chernin Entertainment

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Steven Spielberg, Peter Chernin, Craig Silverstein, Kelly Marcel, Brannon Braga, David Fury, Aaron Kaplan, Katherine Pope, Justin Falvey, Darryl Frank

RIDE-ALONG

The city of Chicago is a paradox that serves as the setting for RIDE-ALONG, a new drama from Shawn Ryan (“The Shield,” “The Unit”). During a ride-along, a civilian spends a shift in the passenger seat of a squad car, observing the work day of a police officer. But in this series, the audience is the passenger, taking an unpredictable ride through the streets of Chicago and navigating crime and corruption with the most respected – and notorious – cops in the city. JAREK WYSOCKI (Jason Clarke, “Public Enemies,” “Brotherhood”) is a local legend and larger-than-life veteran of the Chicago Police Department. Like the city of Chicago, Jarek is razor blades and brass knuckles wrapped in politeness and egoless charm – a man who throws away partners the way others throw away tissues. TERESA COLVIN (Jennifer Beals, LIE TO ME, “The L Word”) arrived at the pinnacle of the Chicago Police Department in a short period of time. She’s determined to implement changes before the mud that is Chicago politics clogs her office. As a result of Teresa’s difficult choices, she has made some powerful enemies along the way, including two street gangs, the police officers’ union and a city alderman who proves to be a dangerous adversary. Jarek’s new partner, CALEB EVERS (Matt Lauria, “Friday Night Lights”), is a smart and observant young detective who desperately wants to prove himself. He is savvier and more observant than most people give him credit for, and just might make the perfect yin to Jarek’s yang. Also in Jarek’s charge is his niece, VONDA WYSOCKI (Devin Kelley, “Tease”), a rookie beat cop whose father, Jarek’s brother, was killed in the line of duty when she was young. Jarek keeps close tabs on her and is less than thrilled to discover she’s falling for her partner, ISAAC JOINER (Todd Williams, “In Plain Sight,” “CSI”), a charismatic cop who takes unnecessary risks on the job that land him and Vonda in some dangerous situations. ALDERMAN RONIN GIBBONS (Delroy Lindo, “Kidnapped”) is a building-magnate-turned-politician who has ruled his ward with a velvet glove for three decades. Jarek and Teresa are convinced Gibbons and his cohorts, including LIAM HENNESSEY (Billy Lush, “The Black Donnellys”), an Irish tough guy in Gibbons’ construction empire, are dirty to the core, but they’ve never had the evidence to prove it. When a murder investigation leads them to Gibbons, they are determined to bring him to justice and clean up Chicago – if that’s even possible.

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, MiddKid Productions

CREATOR/WRITER: Shawn Ryan

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Shawn Ryan, Charles McDougall

DIRECTOR: Charles McDougall

CAST: Jason Clarke as Jarek Wysocki, Jennifer Beals as Teresa Colvin, Matt Lauria as Caleb Evers, Devin Kelley as Vonda Wysocki, Todd Williams as Isaac Joiner, Billy Lush as Liam Hennessey, Delroy Lindo as Alderman Ronin Gibbons

The following new comedy will premiere in the spring:

MIXED SIGNALS

MIXED SIGNALS is a new comedy series about three longtime friends and their attempts to reconcile the irreconcilable: to balance their relationships with their need for freedom. The series reveals how friendships and romances enhance – and further complicate – the lives of men and the women who love them. ETHAN (Kris Marshall, HUMAN TARGET, “My Family”) is the perpetual bachelor. He loves women, and when he’s in, he’s all in – at least for three weeks. Charming, genuine and hopelessly independent, Ethan is finding out that as he gets older, the pool of women who are willing to take things day by day is rapidly evaporating. ADAM (Nelson Franklin, “The Office,” “I Love You Man”) recently moved in with his girlfriend, CALLIE (Alexandra Breckenridge, FAMILY GUY), and is learning how vastly different “she comes over a lot” and “she lives with me” really are. Adam is discovering there isn’t much “me” time any more, there’s only “us” time. MIKE (David Denman, “The Office”) is a married lawyer still trying to figure out the male-female dynamic. He wants nothing more than to be a good family man to his wife, LISA (Liza Lapira, “Dexter,” “Dollhouse”), and his infant son, but he’s also trying to carve out a little space for himself. Currently that space is in his car, where he watches action movies in 15-minute chunks while telling his wife he’s stuck in traffic.

PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Keshet Broadcasting Ltd.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Bob Fisher, David Hemingson, Avi Nir, Ran Sarig, Adir Miller, Elad Kuperman
DIRECTOR: Chris Koch
WRITER: Bob Fisher
CAST: Alexandra Breckenridge as Callie, David Denman as Mike, Nelson Franklin as Adam, Liza Lapira as Lisa, Kris Marshall as Ethan

HOSTED BY BETTY WHITE AND FEATURING MUSICAL GUEST JAY-Z, ‘SNL’ ATTRACTS ITS HIGHEST METERED-MARKET RATINGS SINCE NOVEMBER 1, 2008

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. – May 9, 2010 – “Saturday Night Live” has scored its highest metered-market household rating in a year and a half, since the pre-election telecast of November 2008, according to in-home viewing figures from the 56 local markets metered by Nielsen Media Research.

With a telecast hosted by Betty White and featuring musical guest Jay-Z, last night’s “Saturday Night Live” averaged an 8.8 household rating, 21 share in the metered markets, highest for the series since November 1, 2008 (9.0/20 for a telecast hosted by Ben Affleck with musical guest David Cook and guest appearances by Republican Presidential nominee Senator John McCain and Tina Fey as Governor Sarah Palin just prior to the 2008 election).

In the 25 markets with Local People Meters, the May 8 edition of “Saturday Night Live” averaged a 5.1 rating, 20 share in adults 18-49, also the show’s highest rating since November 1, 2008 (5.2/18).

“Saturday Night Live” was the #1 telecast of the night, topping all primetime programs on all major networks in metered-market results. In households, “SNL” doubled the #1 telecast in primetime, ABC’s coverage of the NBA Playoffs (4.4/8 in the metered markets).

Versus the same night last year, “Saturday Night Live” is up 66 percent in metered-market households (8.8 vs. 5.3).

The May 8 telecast of “Saturday Night Live” featured performances from show alums Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Molly Shannon.

National ratings, including viewer totals, for last night’s “Saturday Night Live” are due from Nielsen on Thursday, May 13.

NEW YORK, May 6, 2010 — Puppet cops, 80’s hair bands, Jesus Christ, a modern day take on “The Odd Couple,” race relations, office politics in Deep Space and a live sex show. These ideas and many, many more make up COMEDY CENTRAL’s 2010-2011 development slate announced today by Kent Alterman, head of original programming and production, COMEDY CENTRAL.

The network has also set summer and fall premiere dates for previously announced new series including “Futurama,” “Big Lake,” “Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time,” “The Onion Sports Network” (working title), “Workaholics” and “Russell Simmons Presents: Stand-Up at the El Rey.” COMEDY CENTRAL recently announced the pick-up of additional episodes of its hit series, “Ugly Americans,” which will air in October, as well as a third season renewal for sophomore sensation, “Tosh.0,” which returns for the second half of its second season on June 2.

“The focus throughout our development process is to find performers, writers, directors and producers that project a strong, unique comedic voice, and then help them actualize their vision in the most unfiltered manner possible,” said Alterman. “With the current development slate, I think it’s safe to say we’re doing our part to end global hunger and foster world peace.”

Projects in development range from animated to sketch/variety to scripted narrative and feature a cross-section of top comedic talent including Jon Benjamin, Patrice Oneal, Nick Kroll, Jon Daly, Brian Posehn, Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Slovin And Allen, Reggie Watts, Whitney Cummings, Jim Jefferies and Broken Lizard, among others. In addition to the top comedic talent associated with COMEDY CENTRAL’s slate, the projects in development feature top producers including Happy Madison, Funny or Die, Sony Television, Lionsgate, Reveille, 3Arts Entertainment, Michael Davies, Michael Hirschorn, Bob Odenkirk, Jeff Tremaine, Bruce McCulloch, Steve Koren and Upright Citizens Brigade.

Along with the series development, COMEDY CENTRAL is also ramping up its stand-up offerings with new, originally-produced, one-hour specials from Daniel Tosh, Denis Leary, Norm Macdonald, Nick Kroll, Bo Burnham and Patrice Oneal, among others. The all-comedy channel has also acquired several high-profile World Television Premiere stand-up hours from the likes of Lisa Lampanelli, Lewis Black, Kevin Hart, Whitney Cummings and Bill Burr.

COMEDY CENTRAL 2010-2011 DEVELOPMENT SLATE

SERIES IN PRODUCTION

“Futurama” – premieres Thursday, June 24
The Emmy® Award-winning “Futurama” is back! Everybody’s favorite zany group from the future has returned with 12 brand-new episodes, premiering right here on COMEDY CENTRAL. Twentieth century pizza delivery boy Philip J. Fry (Billy West) is still jetting around the universe with his favorite drunken robot Bender (John DiMaggio) and tough, but lovely, one-eyed alien Leela (Katey Sagal). Created by Matt Groening and developed by Groening and David X. Cohen, “Futurama” is produced by Twentieth Century Fox Television, with Rough Draft Studios, Inc. contributing the animation.

“Russell Simmons Presents: Stand-Up at the El Rey” – premieres Sunday, July 11
Executive produced by Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan, the unique stand-up show with a hip hop vibe, hosted by JB Smoove (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) will reflect the urban culture of today’s youth through stand-up comedy. Each episode will consist of three up-and-coming comics and will feature music created by DJ Cassidy.

“Big Lake” – premieres August TBD
From executive producers Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Chris Henchy, “Big Lake” stars Chris Gethard as Josh Franklin, a young man who won’t let anything get in the way of his big dreams, even losing his job and having to live on his parents’ couch. Josh enlists the help of his friends, ex-convict Glenn (“Saturday Night Live” alum Horatio Sanz) and burned-out high school teacher Mr. Henkel (Chris Parnell of “30 Rock”) in planning a myriad of well-intentioned schemes to save their hometown, Big Lake. Invariably these plans never come to fruition and the gang has to go back to the drawing board. Written by Emmy® Award-winner Lew Morton (“Futurama,” “Undeclared”).

“Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time” – premieres October TBD
From Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions and Sony Pictures Television, “Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time” is an irreverent sketch show filtered through the twisted point-of-view of stand-up comedian Nick Swardson (“Grandma’s Boy,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”). Swardson played Terry Bernardino on “RENO 911″ and has been featured in two “COMEDY CENTRAL Presents” stand-up specials, as well as his own one-hour special “Seriously, Who Farted?,” which premiered on COMEDY CENTRAL last October. Swardson has a unique voice and is a star on the rise with a feature film, “Born to Be a Star”, which he wrote and stars in, premiering this fall. He is currently filming “Just Go With It”, with Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman. Directed by “Saturday Night Live” and “Human Giant” alum Tom Gianas, “Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time” will feature irreverent sketches, digital shorts, and fan favorite “Gay Robot,” which follows the life of a gay robot and his frat boy friends.

“The Onion Sports Network” (working title) – premieres January 2011
Sports coverage is finally about to get some integrity. The half-hour scripted comedy from The Onion takes its cue from The Onion Sports Network video content which authentically replicates the flashy look, breathless pace and general insanity of modern sports coverage. The series will take on the whole universe of modern sports – teams, players, leagues, sycophantic fans, ridiculous products and over-hyped coverage – with an eye towards appealing to sports fanatics and more casual fans, as well as long-time followers of The Onion and The Onion News Network. Executive produced by The Onion’s Julie Smith and Will Graham.

“Workaholics” – premieres February 2011
From the minds of the hilarious and irreverent internet sketch group Mail Order Comedy, “Workaholics” is a workplace comedy featuring three friends who work together from 9 to 5, and live together from 5 to 9. Dress codes, deadlines, and rising before noon are not things these guys are used to. Their brains are stuck on college cruise control and now they’re trapped in an office environment with “grown ups.” Together they’re a three man spring break, they do their jobs and sometimes they even do them well, but they show up late, leave drunk, play pranks on one another and bend all the rules. They live for the day…even if they don’t know what day it is. “Workaholics” stars Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson and is executive produced by Kevin Etten (“Scrubs”). Episodes will be directed by series co-creator, Kyle Newacheck, and Chris Koch (“Modern Family”).

PILOTS/PRESENTATIONS (all titles listed are working titles)

“Highdeas”
In this comedy reality show based on the Web site highdeas.com, our comedian co-hosts will explore the kind of mind-blowing questions that can only be posed by stoners. By delving into concepts such as “white chocolate milk” and “hamster-sized rhinos,” “Highdeas” will bring the highest ideas to light using a combination of field reports, prototype tests and, of course, black lights and lava lamps. Executive produced by Embassy Row (Michael Davies, Jen Kelly and Dave O’Connor).

“Jon Benjamin Has a Van”
Investigative reporter Jon Benjamin (“Important Things with Demetri Martin,” “Archer”) hits the streets to put his twist on the traditional human interest story in this newsmagazine style sketch show. Whether going undercover or participating in reenactments, Benjamin will do whatever it takes to get the news to the people. And his custom van will ensure that he delivers it in style. Executive produced by Benjamin, Andrew Steele and Funny or Die.

“Live Sex Show”
It’s live, it’s late night and there’s a whole lot of sex. Hosted by irreverent comedian and professional party animal Bert Kreischer (“Reality Bites Back,” “Hurt Bert”) and wickedly sharp-tongued Maxim model Layla Kayleigh (“Attack of the Show,” “America’s Best Dance Crew”), “Live Sex Show” is a live, fully interactive panel show that takes a comedic look at all things sex. Each week the show will feature a panel of celebrity guests, sketches and titillating conversation. Viewers will be able to interact with the show via Skype, Twitter, email and text. Executive produced by Jesse Ignatovic (“The T.O. Show,” MTV’s VMA’s) and written by Mat Harawitz (“The Soup,” COMEDY CENTRAL Roasts).

“Patrice Oneal’s Guide to White People”
Remarkably adept at pinpointing the details of whiteness, Patrice Oneal (“Opie and Anthony,” “ZRock”) schools us on race relations from his unique point of view, offering hilarious lessons both in the classroom and on the street. Executive produced by Michael Hirschorn (“Celebrity Rehab”) and Gideon Evans (“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”).

“Rich Dicks”
Based on the popular “Funny or Die” web short, “Rich Dicks,” Nick Kroll (“The League,” “The Life & Times of Tim”) and Jon Daly (Upright Citizens Brigade Theater) star as two obnoxious rich dicks who party it up in Los Angeles with the help of their nanny Consuela, creating a mess in their wake. Directed by Jon Krisel (“Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show”) and executive produced by Krisel, Kroll and Daly.

“Steel Panther”
This loosely scripted docu-reality show follows the outrageous and popular ’80’s style hairband, Steel Panther, as they attempt to bring back heavy metal. Featuring vocalist Michael Starr, drummer Stix Zadinia, bassist Lexxi Foxxx, and guitarist Satchel, Steel Panther is a parody heavy metal band from Los Angeles, known for their profane and humorous lyrics. Their over-the-top live performances have attracted celebrities and fans alike, and in February 2009 the band succeeded in becoming one of the most popular cover bands in California, winning the contest of “Best Tribute Band in the Universe”. The band’s first album, entitled “Feel the Steel” was released in 2009. “Steel Panther” is created by Brian Posehn (“The Sarah Silverman Program”) and Jeff Tremaine (“Jackass”).

“This Show Will Get You High”
This is a sketch show of video shorts featuring the next wave of stars from the world famous Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, which was founded by Matt Besser, Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, and Ian Roberts, and has produced such notable performers as Ed Helms, Rob Corddry, Rob Riggle, Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, and Jack McBrayer. In-between scenes of this sketch show, we’ll see the ensemble performing in venues across America, and interacting with the public at cool events. Think an edgier “Saturday Night Live” on the road. This show is written and created by UCB co-founder Matt Besser (“Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “RENO 911!”) and Eric Zicklin (“Frasier,” “Dharma & Greg”).

Untitled Andre Hyland Project
Starring fresh new talent Andre Hyland, this mockumentary-style sketch show exists somewhere between Monty Python and Jackass; featuring the characters of Andre Hyland and the animations of Mike Mayfield (“The Cleveland Show,” “American Dad”) as well as the comically petty squabbling of three stoner-ish roommates. From executive producer Bob Odenkirk (“Mr. Show”), this irreverent stoner sketch show will resonate with our young male viewers.

Untitled Bill Burr/Kevin Hart Pilot
Top stand-ups Kevin Hart (“Krod Mandoon and The Flaming Sword of Fire,” “Soul Plane”) and Bill Burr (“Chappelle’s Show”) star in a half-hour hour comedy scripted series featuring a modern day take on”The Odd Couple.” Executive produced by Bruce McCulloch (“Kids in the Hall,” “Carpoolers”) and 3Arts Entertainment.

SCRIPT/PAPER DEVELOPMENT (all titles listed are working titles)

“A**Holes”
You know those people who cut you off in traffic, use their cell phone in the movie theater, and don’t hold the door open for old ladies? They’re a**holes, and it’s about time we find out what makes them tick. “A**holes” is a scripted half-hour comedy series that tells the story of the two biggest assholes in the entire world…Jeff and Geoff. These two twenty-something roommates spend their days scamming on girls, bilking Alzheimer’s patients out of money, and generally being the opposite of model citizens. You’ve never laughed harder at watching people be so bad. “A**holes” is written and created by Steve Koren (“Saturday Night Live,” “Seinfeld”) and Nick Malis (“Tosh.0,” “Mind of Mencia”).

“The Fuzz”
A police procedural cop series set in a corrupt city where humans and puppets co-exist. Viewers follow Herbie, the police force’s first puppet detective, valiantly trying to improve his detective skills without becoming disillusioned and hardened, and his human man-child partner Sanchez as they unravel high-profile cases that touch upon such hot-button issues as jellybean smuggling, the anti-human movement, and puppet sex-crimes. Dead bodies, compromised forensics and shoot-outs are par for the course in the visually exciting, seam-splittingly hilarious and gritty puppet world of “The Fuzz.” Created and written by Waverly Films (Chris Ford, Duncan Skiles and Jon Watts) and executive produced by Dave Becky, Tom Lasally, and Greg Walter, the series has also been greenlit for five Webisodes to air on COMEDY CENTRAL’s sister network, Atom.com, later this year. Executive produced by Dave Becky, Tom Lassally, Greg Walter and 3Arts Entertainment.

“Intercourse with Whitney Cummings”
From brash young comedienne Whitney Cummings (“Made of Honor,” COMEDY CENTRAL Roasts), “Intercourse with Whitney Cummings” is a half-hour scripted narrative comedy that follows Cumming’s adventures in dating and sex. Joining Whitney each week on her adventures will be her single, guy friend Neal, her married couple friends Dick and Jane, and her porn star neighbor Starla whose advice normally does more harm than good. With material taken from her stand-up act, Cumming’s unique voice and brutally honest point of view of the dating landscape and relationships in general promises to make “Intercourse” a twisted “Sex and the City” for the new decade.

“JC”
A half-hour animated show about JC (Jesus Christ) wanting to escape his father’s enormous shadow and to live life in NYC as a regular guy. A lot has changed in 2000 years and he is the ultimate fish out of water. Meanwhile his all-powerful yet apathetic father would rather be playing video games than listening to JC recount his life in the city. JC is a playful take on religion and society with a sprinkle of dumb. Executive produced by Reveille (“The Office”), Henrik Basin, Brian Boyle (“American Dad”), Jonathan Sjoberg and Andreas Ohman.

“The Jim Jeffries Show”
From the twisted yet completely relatable mind of Australian stand up comedian Jim Jeffries, this is a half-hour narrative about Jim’s new life in the US. In the pilot episode Jim’s best friend Damon is getting married to a religious woman who hates him and declares that Jim must go to confession in order to be the best man. This is a big problem since Jim is an atheist. Meanwhile his new hot roommate Carly goes missing and Jim thinks he will be blamed. Executive Produced by Jim Jeffries, Chris Case (“Reba”), Mindy Schulteis and Michael Hanel.

“Joe Squad”
In the vein of classic Saturday morning superhero cartoons, like “G.I. Joe” and “Jonny Quest,” the Joe Squad is the most elite fighting squad hell-bent on saving the world. Led by sex-obsessed Captain Falcon, the team consists of Auburn, the stunning, red-headed sexy-librarian-type, Berserker, the heavyset mustached goof, Big Jersey, the chiseled overly-tanned douchebag, Butchley, the freakishly Schwarzeneggerian female, Brick House, the insanely jacked African-American Muslim, Dutch, the clean-cut All-American good guy, and Lone Wolf, the masked and mysterious mute ninja. When these guys are not trying to save the world, they’re getting in each other’s way and on each other’s nerves. Fortunately for Joe Squad, their nemesis Master Snake and his team of Rattlers are just as inept. This animated action-comedy comes from writer Blake McCormick (“King of the Hill”) and executive producer Marty Adelstein (“Made of Honor”).

“Mars”
Eric Slovin and Leo Allen (“Saturday Night Live,” “Important Things with Demetri Martin”) bring their hilarious vision of life on a space station to the airwaves. It’s awkward office politics as usual in Deep Space, with a twist – the whole thing might just be a social experiment funded by an eccentric zillionaire with a love for all things astral. Executive produced by American Work, Inc.

“Midnight Drop Box”
From Golden Globe® and Emmy® Award-winning writer Rob Schrab (“The Sarah Silverman Program”) and executive producer Erin O’Malley (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) this comedic twist on “Tales from the Crypt” is a stoner-horror anthology that spins the genre on its ear with aggressively odd stories featuring comedy guest stars. Funny but not spoofy, each tale is bookended by “The Hoster,” who introduces each episode from his haunted video store in an abandoned mini-mall.

“Nocturnal Mission”
From veteran comedy writer Les Firestein (“The Drew Carey Show”, “In Living Color”), “Nocturnal Mission” is an out-of-this-world comedy that stars Chris D’Elia (“Monk”, “Boston Legal”), who has been sent to Earth to save the planet. Without realizing there is a difference between someone’s on-line persona and who they really are, the alien brain trust has identified super-nerd Moshe Kasher (“Chelsea Lately”, “Live at Gotham”), to impregnate as many women as possible. This live-action show features two of the young, emerging stars in the world of comedy. Written and executive produced by Les Firestein and 3Arts Entertainment.

“Supermax”
“Supermax” is animated series where the well-known inmates (Robert Hanssen, Sammy “The Bull” Gravano, Ted Kaczinski, Omar Abdel-Rahman, Richard Reid, John Walker-Lindh) of a real super maximum security prison in Colorado learn to live and love. From Emmy® Award-winning comedy writer Lew Morton(“Undeclared,” “Newsradio,” “Futurama”), comedy gets a life sentence in this “arresting” comedy, where the only crime is not to laugh.

Untitled Broken Lizard Minor League Umpires Project
From the minds of Broken Lizard, (“Super Troopers”, “Beer Fest”) comes a series about four minor-league umpires as they travel from game to game in coastal California with dreams of making it to the major leagues. Written by Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Erik Stolhankse, Paul Soter and executive produced by 3Arts Entertainment.

Untitled Reggie Watts Project
Multi-talented musician/comedian and indescribable stage phenomenon Reggie Watts, currently opening for Conan O’Brien on his nationwide tour, joins forces with COMEDY CENTRAL to bring his unique voice to television. Executive produced by James Biederman (“Michael and Michael Have Issues,” “Whitest Kids U Know”).

“Waiting…”
Based on the popular movie of the same name, “Waiting…” follows the young and not so young employees at Shenaniganz restaurant as they gossip, make fun of customers, and avert boredom and adulthood with their antics. Each of the employees projects their own issues into the restaurant as they grapple with sex, booze, and whether they are temporary or permanent fixtures in the restaurant world. Written by Rob McKittrick (who also wrote and directed the film) and executive produced by McKittrick, Thomas Augsberger and Jeff Balis.

COMEDY CENTRAL, the only all-comedy network, currently is seen in more than 98 million homes nationwide. COMEDY CENTRAL is owned by, and is a registered trademark of, Comedy Partners, a wholly-owned division of Viacom Inc.’s (NYSE: VIA and VIA.B) MTV Networks. COMEDY CENTRAL’s Internet address is www.comedycentral.com. For up-to-the-minute and archival press information and photographs visit Press Central, COMEDY CENTRAL’s press web site at www.comedycentral.com/press.

MTV Networks, a division of Viacom (NYSE: VIA, VIA.B), is one of the world’s leading creators of entertainment content, with brands that engage and connect diverse audiences across television, online, mobile, games, virtual worlds and consumer products. The company’s portfolio spans more than 150 television channels and 400 digital media properties worldwide, and includes MTV, VH1, CMT, Logo, Harmonix, Nickelodeon, Nick at Nite, Nick Jr., TeenNick, AddictingGames, Neopets, COMEDY CENTRAL, SPIKE, TV Land, Atom, GameTrailers and Xfire.

The Latin Divas of Comedy followed the success of the Latin Kings of Comedy and is currently on tour. The Divas will unite on the Bergen PAC stage and bring laughter and comedic spice.

May 03, 2010 – (Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey May 3, 2010) Following the enormous success of The Original Latin Kings of Comedy, the acclaimed Latin Divas of Comedy is now touring throughout the United States. Originally a stand-up comedy special on the Showtime Network, the Latin Divas of Comedy has created a cult following with its hilarious all Latina cast.

Latin Divas of Comedy features Hot Tamales Live comedienne Kiki Melendez; Latin Divas of Comedy’s own “New Yorican” Sara Contreras; Miami Cubana Monique Marvez; and Tejana Sandra Valls. With a special nod to the Latino audience, this incredible night reaches across all cultures to bring even the most varied audience into one big belly laugh…and it’s in English!

"Talent Pic' from shoplaughing.com

American Idol meets QVC.
Will Take Home Shopping Where No Man or Woman Has Gone Before!

BOCA RATON, Fla., April 26 /PRNewswire/ — Watch out HSN, Madden is itching for an encore. Not coach Madden. Not the shoe guy either, but the “Spin Man” Tom Madden has created Shop Laughing, the first home shopping show with an entertainment kicker he likens to “American Idol meets QVC.”
TransMedia Entertainment, a division of Madden’s International PR firm, TransMedia Group (www.transmediagroup.com) will launch Shop Laughing May 1 online at www.shoplaughing.com; www.shoplol.net. Viewers can call in orders toll free at 877-456-5565 (877-4LolLol).
Madden’s first blending of shopping and entertainment was “Shop Around The World With Elke” distributed on videotape prior to the Internet. Although garnering press kudos, only a small audience ever saw how funny was his host Elke Sommer, who starred in films with Peter Sellers.
After building his PR firm into a bustling business, Madden, a former NBC Programming VP and right hand to TV wunderkind
Fred Silverman, is now up to his old shticks again as Shop Laughing’s creator. “While TV hosts ooze with enthusiasm and an almost terminal next-door neighborliness, the home shopping genre hasn’t evolved much,” he said. Shop Laughing features performers in between shopping segments for funny items like wallets that open by fingerprint, a Germ Bullet that mortally wounds flu bugs up your nose and a stylish stun device called Stazem that can knock an
assailant flat. Meanwhile amateur singers, dancers and comedians compete for viewers’ text votes.
At NBC Madden was ahead of his time recommending new genres, including something called ‘reality programming,’ said TransMedia President Glen Calder, a former producer for Geraldo Rivera. “Tom would pitch concepts, but get shot down.” Shop Laughing will be streamed live online. “Presenters will be fun to watch,” said Impresario Madden, including gorgeous 75- year-old former top model Oleda Baker selling her skincare and Dr. Rod presenting Madden’s own invention of Knife and Forklift (www.knifeandforklift.com), a combination of dumbbells and utensils that lets you exercise while eating. Madden said the Ellen
DeGeneres show just ordered a pair after seeing them on NBC’s TODAY SHOW and reading a rave review in FITNESS Magazine.
Madden also writes books like “Spin Man” praised by Dick Clark and Regis Philbin as a funny look inside the PR business

SOURCE TransMedia Entertainment

RELATED LINKS
http://www.shoplaughing.com/

http://www.transmediagroup.com